"Take love, multiply it by infinity and take it to the depths of forever...
... and you still have only a glimpse of how I feel for you."
- Meet Joe Black
Thursday, October 27, 2011
One More Story
Dear Daughter You fell asleep on me. All cuddled close and smelling like baby bubble bath. We just finished our nightly routine of bath, fed, read and bed. I'm reminded of the things I love to do, and the things I love to do with you. Reading is just one of them. I think back now, about all those nights, and of one in particular... Your face is still round and soft, a little slack with sleepiness, and I’m reading a book to you.It’s Dr. Seuss ABC's. It was a big favorite of mine when I was a child. I remember asking my Mom and Dad to read it to me all the time.We’re lying on Mama and Daddy's bed, you snuggled on my chest, and I’m reading you the story. I’m turning the pages and you’re looking at the pictures and hearing me say the words.I can feel your breath on my neck, whiff your scent, see your eyes blink as you listen, utterly absorbed in the Dr Seuss's shenanigans. You looked up at me, smiled said "Mama", then turned back to the book. It wasn't the first time you said Mama, but it was a moment that will stick with me forever. I felt like we shared something in that moment. Like you were telling me you loved me, that you appreciated this "Bedtime Us Time." We do this a lot. Cuddle together and read. Sometimes sitting on the sofa in the living room, other days elsewhere. We have pictures books, large prints and classic novels. And you sit with me, helping turn the pages, completely focused. Mostly I remember how close reading brought me to you, the intimacy of it, sharing a book with my daughter, reading it together.No doubt it served us both well.It gave me the chance to give you something of value, a love of reading.And you took it all in, all the words and pictures, making a world of your own.4 Your a little older now but your prove everyday how much you are learning and growing. Friends are amazed when they watch you curl up on your Cars couch with an assortment of books. You will sit there for what seams like forever. Absorbed. Enthralled. The funny thing is, you have toys up the wazzoo, a kitchen set, ride a longs, stuffies and more....but you keep coming back to the books. You hold them by yourself, and flip the pages in wonder. Your eyes get all bright, happily pointing at things on the page. Baby noises come from you, as you tell me what you see. I see the wonder in your eyes. I see promise. I see your imagination twirling. And it doesn't matter that someday's I think we go through your entire collection. (and believe me, that's a lot) Or that I can read 'My Mama Loves Me' ten times in one hour. I get more out of those times then I could ever explain in mere words. So, I guess that's part of the reason why I am writing these letters to you little one. Why I feel it is so important that I capture these thoughts, feeling and memories. Because one day, hopefully far into the future, I might need a little help in remembering. Just a little mind you, to spark that part of me the knows you deep into my soul. So I can look back at say 'Yes, that was me and you Sweet Baby Girl. Cuddled together, sharing stories, and making memories for the future. I Love You Baby GirlAlways & ForeverMama