"Take love, multiply it by infinity and take it to the depths of forever...

... and you still have only a glimpse of how I feel for you."

- Meet Joe Black

Sunday, January 25, 2015

First Day Of School

Dear Daughter

Well...Today's the day.
Your first day of school.

This morning your Daddy woke me up and I climbed in next to you, just to watch you sleep. As I like to do. I knew I should wake you, there were a hundred things to do, but I wanted. ..No, needed... a few more precious moments before you embarked on this new chapter in your life. A new adventure that wony always include me in it. One where you'll grow and learn abd become the woman you were meant to be.

And my heart hurts.
Because I was laying there thinking of all the things we haven't done together. All the things I should have taught you. All the words I should have said and all the stories I should have read.

And my heart hurts.
Because it seems over night you've become so big and brave and independent. And wasn't it just yesterday that I held you in my arms, so small and delicate?! Overwhelming me with love and alllll the feelings!

And my heart hurts.
Because in another few seconds I knew you would open your eyes and I would have to brush my tears away, take a deep breath and begin this monumental day.

So this morning we walked hand in hand. Bellies full of oatmeal and chattered all the way to your class. Your cowgirl boots clip clopped, (of course you wore them!) And every few feet you'd skip in delight and sing "We're going to school! I'm starting school today!" We spoke of all the exciting things you'd learn this year...The friends you'd make...And what I would possibly do with allll my free time! (According to you; read, crochet, laundry and eat cereal out of the box because I didn't have anyone to cook for! )

We walked in, and before you ran off to play I held you close, kissed your face and whispered my I Love Yous. One. More. Time.

As you ran off, Introducing yourself as Macaroni Pyle...I recalled this morning when you finally opened your eyes...The first thing you said to me..."Mornin Momma. Woo hoo! Its the first day of school!" And being my girl you just know me..."Dont be sad Momma. If you get scared all by yourself, just look down the street. And I will see you soon!"

And my heart hurt.
But I took a deep breath, smiled and looked forward to our next adventure.

I love you Baby Girl
Always and Forever

School Registration

Dear Daughter

Last week we passed another milestone. One that came to quickly and I wasn't sure any of us were ready for...

Last week we registered you for school.

Afterwards I couldn't help but think about how many firsts you have left. How many we'll see coming. How many will surprise us. I feel equal parts sad and in awe.
Your my 'not so little' little girl.

Its only the end of January and already you've accomplished some firsts and special moments. You had your first 'big hill' solo sled ride. Used big kid skates on your Daddy-Daughter skate date. Made it to your first friend birthday party; and you were a fantastic helper! You made it to the very top of the indoor playroom by yourself. You even made me my birthday cake; from scratch and by yourself. Supervised of course, and not the dangerous parts.

I know this year will have a few more firsts and a few more big moments.

This year you will turn 4 years old. You will top the height restrictions on most rides. You'll begin wearing double digits in shoes. This year you will join soccer camp; and we may even give dance a try.

And this year you will be in school.

On these days I will kiss you and wish you a good day. I'll stand back and watch you run with delight to join your new friends. You will play new games, learn new things and have a gazillion new experiences.

And selfish thought or no...I'm sad that a lot if them wont include me. Up until this point, all the ins and outs of your day were intertwined with mine. 'Wherever you will go I will go' and all that.

All my days are planned around you and now...8:15 every morning I will whisper my I Love You's as you run off to grow and learn without me.

And I know this is the right thing for you. And I know I'll still be involved. And I'm sure I'll have plenty to fill my time. And im sure I'll be thankful for the uninterrupted me/chore time. But I will also long for the days where we played, laughed and cuddled together whenever we chose.

But I can promise you this... at the end of those days, good or bad, you will leave your classroom and always always always know this. That I will be there. With open arms and a smile on my face. I'll be waiting. You'll tell me about your day. All the happy moments and the sad. I promise to listen and I promise to ask questions.

And till the next time you go. We'll play, laugh and cuddle close. Then we'll whisper our I Love You's and do it all again.

Till the end of time, my sweet baby girl, I can promise you this...

I will always be sad when you go. I will always miss you while we're apart. And I will always feel great joy when I see you again. Pinky promise.

I love you little girl.
Always and orever