* Note: This was difficult to write. I wasn't sure that I should or could. But getting it off my chest, has made me feel lighter, and that I'm not alone. If you would like a little background info on our Miracle Baby, you can find it here.How You Came To Be Thanks again for reading, and all your kind words.
Dear Daughter
This has been probably one of the most difficult letters to write you to date. I'm sorry that I haven't written one in a while. I wasn't able to talk about this yet. Before you get worried, no, Mama's not sick. Just....tired of all this lemonade.
They say, when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. But when is it acceptable to throw your hands in the air and say "I don't WANT anymore Freakin lemonade!!!" I feel like that. Like the glass half empty girl. And I'm sorry for that. It's not me. It's not how I wish to be. For me, and for you and Daddy. I am usually a pretty positive, happy person. Optimistic. But right now, I'm finding it a little difficult....
Let's rewind a bit....Back in December, your Daddy and I made the decision to try for another baby. We love you so much. Your our world. We were hoping for one just like you in the male variety.lol. We also new that there was a chance it might not happen. But hey, we beat the odds before hadn't we. So, off we went to our Dr. After getting labs done, physicals, more labs etc we were called in a month or so later. I'll let you in on a little something.... When the Dr. Called I thought for SURE that she was going to tell me I was pregnant. I was so excited. Planning how I was going to tell our family and friends. Boy was I wrong. I walked into that Drs office, and I noticed all these pamphlets on the table......For Menopause.
"Your labs have come back, there are some things we need to talk about." That's what the Dr said. The blood work had made two things clear. The first (which we knew) was that I had Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. Which basically means that I only ovulate a few times a year. I knew this. Knew it would lessen our chances. The labs also reported a few numbers. Not good ones either. Now I hope this makes sense because the Dr had diagrams and I wasn't really listening through it all. Your Pituitary gland in your brain sends out "signals" for two hormones to be released. Which then does the same for your ovaries, uterus, thyroid etc. At any given time those hormone levels run roughly from 72 to 1300. My labs came back at 136. This number is had by someone usually in their forty's. Someone going through menopause. I was told, at 118, you have officially become menopausal.
I'm in the beginning stages of menopause. These low numbers basically mean that my ovaries are slowing down and ceasing to function. Once they stop, there is nothing they can do. There is no medication that will reverse what's going on inside me.....
And it's just not fair!
I didn't really feel anything when she told me. I didn't know what to think. What to feel. i didn't want to believe it. I'm 27. I'm too young to go through this. This is ridiculous. Why me? It can't be happening. Later, after explaining everything to your Daddy...then it began to set in. And let me tell you. I was pissed!
It wasn't fair. For many reasons this whole thing made me think this is some cosmic joke set out to make my life more difficult. People have babies all the time. People who don't even want them.Who beings menopause in their 20?!?! Because of my other health concerns, this could open up a bunch of other potential risks and conditions.Heart Disease? Me? Don't I have enough? I've joked before that the day the Lord gave out immunity I slept in. But C'MON!!! I'm on all sorts of medications, have labs done monthly, why not add this one more thing on. I'm Epileptic and on medication to control the seizures. Hypothyroidism with more pills to manage the hormones. PCOS, but hey, a lot of women have that right? I'm Asthmatic (with 3 inhalers) , have low blood pressure, iron deficiency, wear coke bottle glasses and am allergic to every GOD DAMN thing that grows outside along with a whole wack of foods to make life more fun. So what's one more thing to add to my plate, as if I don't have enough to deal with. I didn't understand why HE, why the world would do this to me when I considered myself a good person. I don't smoke, drink or do drugs. I volunteer every week for cripes sake! I call my family every week, write them letters every month and bake freaking cookies for the freaking neighbors and yes...make all the lemonade I can stand to make! And yet.....this is really happening.
That first week was horrible. Yes, I threw myself a little pity party, complete with balloons. I didn't return friends calls. Didn't leave the house. And cried sporadically in the bathroom. All the while I tried my damndest to make sure this didn't effect how I parented you. We made crafts, baked, sang songs and read books just like we usually do. I was determined to make sure you never felt one ounce of my sadness. But on the inside I was crying. No, I didn't want to talk about it. No I didn't want to call anyone. Next week, Id say. Next week I will talk. But now, right now, I wanted to cry, and scream, and not be accepting. And there was sadness. Everyday, for the next few weeks I woke up feeling down. What did I do to deserve this. All we wanted was another baby to love. Why was I such a failure. As a wife. A mother. A woman.
I eventually took you out and about again....showered lol.....started talking to your Daddy about how I was feeling. And then one Tuesday rolled around. I had taken you to the park for a little Teddy Bear Picnic, complete with more then enough stuffies, lunch and as fate would have it...lemonade. A group of women were there with their own children, chatting among themselves. On their way out two of the ladies stopped by our blanket. "Is she yours?" (cause apparently I look like I'm 12) "Yep, goofy laugh, double chin and all!" "She's really cute, and looks like she's having fun. Your such a good mummy to do things like this with her."
And there it was. The moment when I realized how selfish I was being. How ungrateful. Here is this little ball of crazy sunshine that your Daddy and I made. One who makes me laugh and smile and want to just squeeze everyday, and here I was, wanting...no expecting more. That's when I woke up a gave myself a shake. You, my Sweet Baby Girl are our little Miracle Baby. You are my reason for breathing. I am so proud of every little thing you do and accomplish everyday. You make me want to be a better person. Not just mother and wife, but a person. One who loves herself, flaws and all.
That night I told your Daddy that everything was going to be ok. I was going to be ok. We're not giving up. Ohh nooooo nelly! We are still going to try. I've made an appt with our OB. She says that the window is still open. There there are a few things we can try before the opportunity is gone. So no siree, we are not giving up. I'm going to go on some medication that might give us a little help, and your Daddy is 100% on the try try again train. Who knows, you might get a little brother or sister in your future.
But one thing I know for certain now. Something I should have known before. Weather we are successful at this go ahead or not...we are already blessed. We were already given the best thing that anyone could ever hope for. We were given you, against the odds, and in our favor. So for that....everyday I will be thankful.
And next time.....I'll just make pie....everyone loves pie.
I love you little girl
Always & Forever
Mama
Monday, April 9, 2012
Friday, March 16, 2012
Fine The Time...
Dear Daughter
Too often in our lives we miss the little things because we are too busy with the everyday. Next thing we know, opportunity has passed us by, and we must wait for the next one. When I became your mother I realized many things about myself. About love. About fear. About hope. About life. I don't presume to know everything, as you teach me something new everyday. But what I do know, good and bad, is yours to have...all you need to do is ask.
I've learned that life....Life, in the grand scheme of things is so short, and so precious. To even regret one moment in life is very difficult. I, like most have said at one time; "I wish I had said this" or "I wish I had done that". Let me be clear. I do not regret one moment of my life so far. Having the know how now, I might have changed some decisions, made different choices. But how can I regret something that a pebble skip away, could have brought me you.
It's hard, after the fact to think to myself...."Jeeze, I wish I....." All because I was on a schedule, or late, or on my way, or didn't have the time. Sometimes we forget to find the time to step back and take it all in.
So...all this boils down to is simply this....I want you to do something for me, a favor if you will. I want you to take five minutes, at least, everyday to find the time to .....just BE. Morning, noon or night....stop and, for a lack of a better phrase, "Stop and smell the bloody roses!"
Find the time skip those pebbles. To wiggle your toes in the grass. Find the time to enjoy that first sip of coffee in the morning.(and as I was recently reminded, make sure it's the GOOD stuff. Life's to short to scrimp by on just decent coffee) Find the time to read a really good smutty novel just for the hell of it, and flip through a trashy tabloid to read about aliens. I want you to yes, stop and smell the flowers.Maybe even grow some. Take the time to watch a sunset. I don't mean sit there for hours by yourself, but great company and, in my case, a cheap glass of wine, are great ways to wind down at the end of the day. Find the time to hold hands. Child, teen, adult or seasoned; go for a walk, holding the hand of one you love. Take a moment for hugs, kisses and I love yous. You don't want to wish you had later, do it! Find the the for bubble baths and candles. For laughing so hard you cry, and for each and every person you deem important. A five minute phone call just to say "where ye at?" can go such a long way. Find the time to have fun. To make silly faces from across the room and tell a dirty joke at a semi-inappropriate place or time.
I'm not trying to tell you what to do with your live Sweetheart. I want you to be who you want to be and do what you want to do. If you tell me you want to join the circus, I will be first in line for cotton candy. What I'm asking from you....What I'm wanting for you, is to just live your life to the fullest. I want you to look back on your life when your older and remember all the amazing things you did or said. I also want you to look back and remember the little things. The small things you took the time to enjoy just because. I want you to be able to say to your little girl...."When I was younger, your Nanny and Poppy and I....." Find the time to run through some leaves, catch snowflakes on your tongue and dance in the rain. Find the Time.
These last few are really important. So are the others, but really really remember these. Find the time to be Grateful. For all you had, have and will have. Find the time the to tell the ones you care about the why's and what-for's. Take the time to just breath when you wake up, and be thankful you are alive. Most importantly. Find the time to call your Mama. Cause I'll be there, morning, noon or night. Always.
So, my little lovey, heed my advice. Find the time for the little things.
They take part in shaping you into the wonderful girl I know you'll be.
I love you Sweet Baby Girl
Always & Forever
Mama
Too often in our lives we miss the little things because we are too busy with the everyday. Next thing we know, opportunity has passed us by, and we must wait for the next one. When I became your mother I realized many things about myself. About love. About fear. About hope. About life. I don't presume to know everything, as you teach me something new everyday. But what I do know, good and bad, is yours to have...all you need to do is ask.
I've learned that life....Life, in the grand scheme of things is so short, and so precious. To even regret one moment in life is very difficult. I, like most have said at one time; "I wish I had said this" or "I wish I had done that". Let me be clear. I do not regret one moment of my life so far. Having the know how now, I might have changed some decisions, made different choices. But how can I regret something that a pebble skip away, could have brought me you.
It's hard, after the fact to think to myself...."Jeeze, I wish I....." All because I was on a schedule, or late, or on my way, or didn't have the time. Sometimes we forget to find the time to step back and take it all in.
So...all this boils down to is simply this....I want you to do something for me, a favor if you will. I want you to take five minutes, at least, everyday to find the time to .....just BE. Morning, noon or night....stop and, for a lack of a better phrase, "Stop and smell the bloody roses!"
Find the time skip those pebbles. To wiggle your toes in the grass. Find the time to enjoy that first sip of coffee in the morning.(and as I was recently reminded, make sure it's the GOOD stuff. Life's to short to scrimp by on just decent coffee) Find the time to read a really good smutty novel just for the hell of it, and flip through a trashy tabloid to read about aliens. I want you to yes, stop and smell the flowers.Maybe even grow some. Take the time to watch a sunset. I don't mean sit there for hours by yourself, but great company and, in my case, a cheap glass of wine, are great ways to wind down at the end of the day. Find the time to hold hands. Child, teen, adult or seasoned; go for a walk, holding the hand of one you love. Take a moment for hugs, kisses and I love yous. You don't want to wish you had later, do it! Find the the for bubble baths and candles. For laughing so hard you cry, and for each and every person you deem important. A five minute phone call just to say "where ye at?" can go such a long way. Find the time to have fun. To make silly faces from across the room and tell a dirty joke at a semi-inappropriate place or time.
I'm not trying to tell you what to do with your live Sweetheart. I want you to be who you want to be and do what you want to do. If you tell me you want to join the circus, I will be first in line for cotton candy. What I'm asking from you....What I'm wanting for you, is to just live your life to the fullest. I want you to look back on your life when your older and remember all the amazing things you did or said. I also want you to look back and remember the little things. The small things you took the time to enjoy just because. I want you to be able to say to your little girl...."When I was younger, your Nanny and Poppy and I....." Find the time to run through some leaves, catch snowflakes on your tongue and dance in the rain. Find the Time.
These last few are really important. So are the others, but really really remember these. Find the time to be Grateful. For all you had, have and will have. Find the time the to tell the ones you care about the why's and what-for's. Take the time to just breath when you wake up, and be thankful you are alive. Most importantly. Find the time to call your Mama. Cause I'll be there, morning, noon or night. Always.
So, my little lovey, heed my advice. Find the time for the little things.
They take part in shaping you into the wonderful girl I know you'll be.
I love you Sweet Baby Girl
Always & Forever
Mama
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Dear 16 Year Old Me...
Dear Daughter
A while back I uploaded a Facebook Album titled "A Box Full Of Polaroids!" I recently found some more pictures floating around in random boxes and was BLOWN AWAY at several recurring themes.
1. I had really bad fashion sense!
2. My definition of "Hawt Stuff" has c hanged....Dramatically!
3. I'd give ALL my New Kids On The Block collectibles to charity if Proactive had come out in the 80's
4. The same handful of people were there...always there.
5. Those same people and I share some AMAZING memories.
So, in honor of those lost years, here is another rendition of the same title floating around you-tube....
Dear 16 Year Old Me...
Continue writing in your diary. It's a very strong link to your past. You might need it one day.
Put down the Cheetos! You might THINK you have the metabolism of a young boy...but you dont.
Putting BYOB on your birthday party invite is NOT A GOOD IDEA
The Hippie Stage? Really?
STOP rushing, there really is plenty of time.
Let your little sister tag along......sometimes. You grow up and wish you were closer.
Spend more time with family and tell them you love them...everyday.
Appreciate Mom. She does so much for you right now.
Hold your friendships tight. Whether they come in to your life for a reason or a lifetime. They shape you too.
Buck Up and Do the Airband Dance "Get Down" Don't be nervous, enjoy it!
Join more clubs/teams/committees! You love being involved now, you will then!
Hug Daddy. Walk with him. Talk with him. Tell jokes with him. Savor the time you have with him.
You are NOT going to marry Billy, get over it already! 5th time is not the charm! :)
If you say something that hurts someone, apologize. Don't wait. You could be too late.
Stay in touch. We all move on with our own lives, but hold those dear, close to you.
In the same vein, let others move on too. They will still have time for you, and their new life too.
No matter what anyone says, 90210, Buffy and Charmed are AWESOME shows. Cheesy, but cool
Keep your Winnie the Pooh box of memories...Your daughters name is on that future baby list!
Take more pictures. People might tease, but they will love looking at them in the future.
Stay with him at the hospital. Don't leave.
Your not ugly, or a geek. Someone is going to love you one day. more then you could ever imagine.
I love you Baby Girl
Always and Forever
Mama
Mama
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
How I Met Your Father....
Dear Daughter
I know this is a story that you will ask for when your older so I might as well write it down. This is how I met your Daddy. My one true love. Sappy I know but true.
Funny enough, he and I met at a Tim Horton's Coffee Shop. We were strangers, and he asked if he could take me to a county fair.(It's beginning to sound like a country song isn't it? ) Even better, we never made it to the fair.
I was still in high school, and your father was a student at George Brown in Toronto. I had never really had a serious relationship before him. You know, the ones were it's S + J = 4eva with hearts and rainbows. I had gone on 'group movie dates' but nothing that gave me butterflies. He did.
In fact, I thought he was totally out of my league. I'm not ashamed to admit I was a book worm in high school and still am. I was involved in clubs and committees. Volunteered for fun after school, and in my spare time enjoyed crafts, puzzles and reading. Introverted to say the least. Your Daddy, well, he was tattoo's, race cars and piercings. Parties, loud music and a bit of a potty mouth. He reminded me soo much of your Poppy, and I knew right away that he was different.
He picked me up at my house, (where he found me playing badminton on the front lawn with my little sister) and we drove all the way to Tim Hortons in silence. I didn't even look at him I was so nervous. We spent the entire evening talking, and well into the night. If there is a book out there that says "What NOT to Say on a First Date" it was based on this night. I told him how 'geeky' I was and that I embraced my inner nerd by collecting Archie Comics. That I was a virgin and saving myself for marriage. (HA) I talked about wanting to be a wife and mother more then anything in the world, and six children seamed a good number. (You would think that would send him running on a first date) I admitted that I was seeing a therapist, because my Father had passed away the year before and I was still having trouble dealing with it. I also talked about my epilepsy, and how it started and basically gave him a first aid lesson on 'what to do if'. All that, and more just spewed out of my mouth like verbal diarrhea and .......he listened. Not just sat there quietly, but actively listened. He nodded his head, asked questions, made comments and showed interest. In ME!
I was so blown away that this man. This older, OH MY GOSH Good looking man, was interested in me. Little, quiet, shy me. When he drove me home later that night I did the unthinkable. Something I had never done in my life and was soo outside my comfort zone. I attacked him. Well not really, but as he was saying good night to me I launched myself at him and kissed him. That's it. Nothing too X rated. Just a kiss. But woweyyy what a kiss. I then admittedly pushed him away, took in his look of shock and ran in the house.
Now all this sounds as if I was 12, a child, and immature...I wasn't, on all accounts I assure you. I was older, wiser and usually people said I was 'an old soul'. But this night, this man....never mind butterflies, I had bats flying around in my tummy. I won the award for supreme dork that night....and I thought I'd never see him agian.
15 LONNNNNNNNNGGG hours later. He called to ask me out again. I knew, really I did, I knew right then, that this guy was mine. Stick a fork in him he is done like dinner...he just didn't know it yet.
Years later, I found out that after our first date he had said this to someone......."I went on a date tonight with this amazingly, quirky, cute girl. (cute?!?!) But, I don't know if I will ever see her again.....She is not the kind of girl you kinda date and have 'fun' with. She is the type of girl you bring home to Mom. The kind of girl you marry and have kids with. I don't know ......I just met her.....If I call her.....that's it. She's ....The One." Now all of that is words he has later told me he said, and the conversation might have gone a little differently but this is how he remembers it. I cried when he told me, because not long after he had this conversation he called me again.......And we lived (mostly) happily ever after!
So there it is.....we were pretty much inseparable after that. He asked to meet your Nanny, Uncle and Aunt the following week (who asks to meet parents one week in) and we moved in together less then a year later. I like to think we have something so rare and so special. Who can say that they met there partner, lover and best friend in high school and are still together many, many manymanymany moons later......well, we can.
I love you Sweet Baby Girl
Always & Forever
Mama
ps. Next time I'll tell you about when he first said the 'L' word. He said it first....don't let him tell you different!
I know this is a story that you will ask for when your older so I might as well write it down. This is how I met your Daddy. My one true love. Sappy I know but true.
Funny enough, he and I met at a Tim Horton's Coffee Shop. We were strangers, and he asked if he could take me to a county fair.(It's beginning to sound like a country song isn't it? ) Even better, we never made it to the fair.
I was still in high school, and your father was a student at George Brown in Toronto. I had never really had a serious relationship before him. You know, the ones were it's S + J = 4eva with hearts and rainbows. I had gone on 'group movie dates' but nothing that gave me butterflies. He did.
In fact, I thought he was totally out of my league. I'm not ashamed to admit I was a book worm in high school and still am. I was involved in clubs and committees. Volunteered for fun after school, and in my spare time enjoyed crafts, puzzles and reading. Introverted to say the least. Your Daddy, well, he was tattoo's, race cars and piercings. Parties, loud music and a bit of a potty mouth. He reminded me soo much of your Poppy, and I knew right away that he was different.
He picked me up at my house, (where he found me playing badminton on the front lawn with my little sister) and we drove all the way to Tim Hortons in silence. I didn't even look at him I was so nervous. We spent the entire evening talking, and well into the night. If there is a book out there that says "What NOT to Say on a First Date" it was based on this night. I told him how 'geeky' I was and that I embraced my inner nerd by collecting Archie Comics. That I was a virgin and saving myself for marriage. (HA) I talked about wanting to be a wife and mother more then anything in the world, and six children seamed a good number. (You would think that would send him running on a first date) I admitted that I was seeing a therapist, because my Father had passed away the year before and I was still having trouble dealing with it. I also talked about my epilepsy, and how it started and basically gave him a first aid lesson on 'what to do if'. All that, and more just spewed out of my mouth like verbal diarrhea and .......he listened. Not just sat there quietly, but actively listened. He nodded his head, asked questions, made comments and showed interest. In ME!
I was so blown away that this man. This older, OH MY GOSH Good looking man, was interested in me. Little, quiet, shy me. When he drove me home later that night I did the unthinkable. Something I had never done in my life and was soo outside my comfort zone. I attacked him. Well not really, but as he was saying good night to me I launched myself at him and kissed him. That's it. Nothing too X rated. Just a kiss. But woweyyy what a kiss. I then admittedly pushed him away, took in his look of shock and ran in the house.
Now all this sounds as if I was 12, a child, and immature...I wasn't, on all accounts I assure you. I was older, wiser and usually people said I was 'an old soul'. But this night, this man....never mind butterflies, I had bats flying around in my tummy. I won the award for supreme dork that night....and I thought I'd never see him agian.
15 LONNNNNNNNNGGG hours later. He called to ask me out again. I knew, really I did, I knew right then, that this guy was mine. Stick a fork in him he is done like dinner...he just didn't know it yet.
Years later, I found out that after our first date he had said this to someone......."I went on a date tonight with this amazingly, quirky, cute girl. (cute?!?!) But, I don't know if I will ever see her again.....She is not the kind of girl you kinda date and have 'fun' with. She is the type of girl you bring home to Mom. The kind of girl you marry and have kids with. I don't know ......I just met her.....If I call her.....that's it. She's ....The One." Now all of that is words he has later told me he said, and the conversation might have gone a little differently but this is how he remembers it. I cried when he told me, because not long after he had this conversation he called me again.......And we lived (mostly) happily ever after!
So there it is.....we were pretty much inseparable after that. He asked to meet your Nanny, Uncle and Aunt the following week (who asks to meet parents one week in) and we moved in together less then a year later. I like to think we have something so rare and so special. Who can say that they met there partner, lover and best friend in high school and are still together many, many manymanymany moons later......well, we can.
I love you Sweet Baby Girl
Always & Forever
Mama
ps. Next time I'll tell you about when he first said the 'L' word. He said it first....don't let him tell you different!
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Photo Blog Post Day!!!
Dear.....Readers!
This blog post is for you! I have received a bunch of requests to see more pictures of MJ. Since none of my journal entries have pictures, I thought I would make an entire post of them so I could share just a few of my favorite moments/shenanigans that we get into.
I hope you enjoy them as much as we do!
xoxo Shannon p.s. It was very very hard to pick just a few...I have a photo-taking-addiction!!!
Here is MJ just lying around Daddy's Race Shop!
Future Race Car Driver in the making! And Daddy's Biggest Fan!
What a little Diva we have!!!
Merry Christmass!!!
Future Race Car Driver in the making! And Daddy's Biggest Fan!
What a little Diva we have!!!
Happy Halloween!!!
Meeting Santa!
Merry Christmass!!!Just sitting pretty!
Where did the balloon go Mama???
Swimming Swimming in her swimming pool!!!
So, here are just a few of my favorite photo's. There are probably hundreds...thousands...did I mention I take a lot of pictures! I will post more soon!
Thanks again for all your kind words. I pass on how much she is loved, everyday!
xoxo
Mama
Swimming Swimming in her swimming pool!!!
So, here are just a few of my favorite photo's. There are probably hundreds...thousands...did I mention I take a lot of pictures! I will post more soon!
Thanks again for all your kind words. I pass on how much she is loved, everyday!
xoxo
Mama
Thursday, December 1, 2011
You Have Teeth!!!
Dear Daughter
As of right now you have 4 teeth! FOUR!!!
I think this is amazing because it means you are growing up so fast.
Your gums started getting a little red and swollen when you were 3 1/2 - 4 months and on Boxing Day you woke up with your First Tooth!!! It had come out over night, and over the next few hours another joined in. I was so happy that they came in with pretty much no fuss and that you weren't in any discomfort.
I'm also thankful for the few teething toys we had already. If I haven't mentioned before you are a little bit of a comfort sucker, and breastfeeding you after your teeth starting coming in was like being milked by a rabid kitten. Little scrapes from your teeth make for an uncomfortable feeding time, but we carried on and you figured out how to do it without making me loose a nipple or two.
Another thing I have thankful for is a present you got from Gramma and Grampa for Christmas. It was Sophie the Giraffe! Sophie...which in reality is a $30 rubber dog toy but it has definitely saved our lives. In all honesty I probably wouldn't have bought it for you myself, because I'm chea.......frugal like that. But after seeing how you latched on to that thing and chewed it like a t-bone I am certain it is one of the essential items that the 'What to Expect' book missed out on.
I keep trying to take pictures of your teeth to show everyone, but every time I get close enough with the camera you either a) try to eat it or 2) blow a raspberry. When I do get a shot I laugh out loud at how incredibly cute you are. Your such a happy baby and I love just looking at your beautiful-carnival ride operator -drooly face! (not to insult carnival ride operators, but you do look kinda red-necky)
That's all for today Hunnie Bunnie. I just wanted to write so that I can remind you when you have kids, that a little bite between Mama and Baby is ok. Also, I wanted to apologize for probably scaring the piss out of you when I yelp at your antics. Unfortunately, you think this is funny, and some kind of game....'Lets bite Mama, look up and smile angelically while still holding it in my teeth'....Ya.....Fun!!! (insert sarcastic snort here)
I Love You Baby Girl
Always & Forever
Mama
* Please Note: For those who are new to following..... These entries are incredibly behind in posting. I have always be a journal/Diary/Note person and have a lot of letters to MJ in these books. I am still playing catchup online with my letters though. I find this is a great way to share with all the friends and family we can't see everyday. (we live on the west coast while our family is on the east) MJ was born in July of 2010 and I began writing letters to her while still pregnant. I will continue trying to get caught up for online entires, as I only do them generally when she is sleeping. (But I know you will all forgive me if I spend my 'free' time drinking coffee, napping or reading a good book)
Thank you all so much for your continued support, well wishes and kind words. I hope you keep reading!
Sincerely, Shannon
As of right now you have 4 teeth! FOUR!!!
I think this is amazing because it means you are growing up so fast.
Your gums started getting a little red and swollen when you were 3 1/2 - 4 months and on Boxing Day you woke up with your First Tooth!!! It had come out over night, and over the next few hours another joined in. I was so happy that they came in with pretty much no fuss and that you weren't in any discomfort.
I'm also thankful for the few teething toys we had already. If I haven't mentioned before you are a little bit of a comfort sucker, and breastfeeding you after your teeth starting coming in was like being milked by a rabid kitten. Little scrapes from your teeth make for an uncomfortable feeding time, but we carried on and you figured out how to do it without making me loose a nipple or two.
Another thing I have thankful for is a present you got from Gramma and Grampa for Christmas. It was Sophie the Giraffe! Sophie...which in reality is a $30 rubber dog toy but it has definitely saved our lives. In all honesty I probably wouldn't have bought it for you myself, because I'm chea.......frugal like that. But after seeing how you latched on to that thing and chewed it like a t-bone I am certain it is one of the essential items that the 'What to Expect' book missed out on.
I keep trying to take pictures of your teeth to show everyone, but every time I get close enough with the camera you either a) try to eat it or 2) blow a raspberry. When I do get a shot I laugh out loud at how incredibly cute you are. Your such a happy baby and I love just looking at your beautiful-carnival ride operator -drooly face! (not to insult carnival ride operators, but you do look kinda red-necky)
That's all for today Hunnie Bunnie. I just wanted to write so that I can remind you when you have kids, that a little bite between Mama and Baby is ok. Also, I wanted to apologize for probably scaring the piss out of you when I yelp at your antics. Unfortunately, you think this is funny, and some kind of game....'Lets bite Mama, look up and smile angelically while still holding it in my teeth'....Ya.....Fun!!! (insert sarcastic snort here)
I Love You Baby Girl
Always & Forever
Mama
* Please Note: For those who are new to following..... These entries are incredibly behind in posting. I have always be a journal/Diary/Note person and have a lot of letters to MJ in these books. I am still playing catchup online with my letters though. I find this is a great way to share with all the friends and family we can't see everyday. (we live on the west coast while our family is on the east) MJ was born in July of 2010 and I began writing letters to her while still pregnant. I will continue trying to get caught up for online entires, as I only do them generally when she is sleeping. (But I know you will all forgive me if I spend my 'free' time drinking coffee, napping or reading a good book)
Thank you all so much for your continued support, well wishes and kind words. I hope you keep reading!
Sincerely, Shannon
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Just An Ordinary Day...
Dear Daughter
I have this email framed in our house. It was given to me when I was pregnant with you to remind me that I'm not 'Just' A Mom'. That I am a person. A woman. A wife. That being a parent is hard work, but it is soo worth it. Over the past year I have also read many emails, posts and status updates stating the ups and downs of parenthood. I've also read the questions/complaints from some who are not parents and wish to know 'what we SAHM 'DO ALL DAY'.(eat bon bons and watch our soaps?)
So here goes.....
A Day in the Life of one Mackenzie-Jade Elizabeth....&Mama
"I have a continuing program of research, (what mother doesn't), in the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for my Masters, (the whole darned family), and a Major Credit, (you, baby girl). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities, (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money."
I have this email framed in our house. It was given to me when I was pregnant with you to remind me that I'm not 'Just' A Mom'. That I am a person. A woman. A wife. That being a parent is hard work, but it is soo worth it. Over the past year I have also read many emails, posts and status updates stating the ups and downs of parenthood. I've also read the questions/complaints from some who are not parents and wish to know 'what we SAHM 'DO ALL DAY'.(eat bon bons and watch our soaps?)
So here goes.....
A Day in the Life of one Mackenzie-Jade Elizabeth....&Mama
- 5:30 am Daddy stumbles, curses and trips his way up in the morning. He has a shower, and then returns to kiss Mama goodbye before he leaves. (and because Mama is such a light sleeper, she is the one who actually turns off the alarm clock and wakes Daddy)
*Side Note: Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
- The minute your Daddy closes the door you wake up for the day with "UH AHH UGGHH AWWWEEEIIII UH UH UH". (in various sounds and decibels) I also hear a news/sports broadcast that the monitor picks up from who knows where.
- I stumble, curse and trip out of bed because the lamp is on HIS side and it is still dark out. I make my way to your room and look over the edge of the crib....and there you are! My beautiful girl. Just smiling and waving your arms, ready to great the day.
- Baby wrestling/Bum Changing/ Mr Sun Song begins, and is repeated until finished.
- Change you, I get dressed, START COFFEE, make bed, make breakfast, then feed you while eating breakfast. (Wipe crumbs off your head.)
- Play Time! This entails tummy time, reading books, going for walks, staring at the ceiling, reading the same book again, tickle time, 'Don't touch that's, raspberries, funny faces, "Say Mama", and toys that make WAAYYY TOO MUCH NOISE......just to make you smile.
- Daily To-Do's while your gurgling at the probably over priced, plastic toy of the moment......Unloading dishwasher, rinse dirty dishes, reload dishwasher, sweep, mop, towel, rub down, pick up clothes, start laundry, fold laundry and put away. Come running at you for a surprise attack tickle, vaccume .....WHEN DOES IT END!!!
- First Nap = Awwwww Bliss! This can last anywhere from ten minutes to an hour. Id like to say I use this time productively and either a)nap or 2) start dinner blah blah blah. Nope. I do nothing. Just sit. Sometimes I might read, or be a little craftier with crochet or scrapbooking or journaling. Mostly I just put my feet up and listen to....nothing. its fabbity fab fab fab
- Your Awake! Baby wrestling/Bum Changing/Tickling commences. Repeat as necessary!
- More Milk! More Mushed Food! More Play!
- Phone calls, take out something for dinner, letter writing, paying bills and Exersaucer Time! (This this is amazing, you love it so much. Baby essentials= exersaucer + swing + bouncer More Tummy Time, practice standing/walking, peak a boo and other silly shenanigans.
- Time to go out! We usually do one of the following....Go to Library for Babies in the Library (Tuesdays and Thursdays), Drop In at the Community Centre (Mondays, Wednesday and Fridays), Park to (depending on season) roll in grass, snow or watch other screaming kiddies. Play dates, running errands or shop browsing. (being we live in a town of around 6000 our choices are limited)
- Nap Time # 2! Your awesome at going to sleep. I bring you in, give you 'Moo Cow', give you yoru blankie and smother you in kisses and you just roll over and pass out.
- This is where I make another cup of coffee and usually waste time on either Facebook, my blog or work on crochet orders. Did I mention that I taught myself how to crochet while I was pregnant. I wanted to make you something special for when you were born. It kind of escalated into a Stay At Home Mama Side Business (Incoming plug....Visit Made With Love Handmade Gifts on Facebook to see our Homemade Goodies!!! http://www.facebook.com/pages/Made-With-Love-Handmade-Gifts/232157200172290 he he he!
- Awake Again!!! Baby wrestling/Bum Changing/Tickling commences. Repeat as necessary!
- More Milk! More Mushed Food! More Play!
- Start Dinner. Play music and sing (badly) and dance around (even more badly) to entertain you.
- Daddies Home Yay! Hugs, Kisses and Cuddles for everyone!!!
- The next hour is usually a bit of Eating-Catching up on day-movie watching (we don't have cable) Playing with you- More hugs and kisses (for me and you)
- Bath Time!!! This is one of your favorite things to do. You splash, kick laugh always with a smile on your face.
- Now that you smell all babylicious, it's time to be fed, read and in bed. This is one of MY favorite times. Not because you are going to sleep and I get Daddy all to myself (though this is nice) It is because we have our whole routine down. Daddy changes you into pjs
- Your Daddy and I then get to spend some quality time together cuddled on the couch.
- AND....Between ALLL of this things here I'm.......... * Giving Constant Attention * Answering your coo's and cry's *Having only two arms with one baby, diaper bag, keys, sippy cup, and blankie. Plus other various other essentials for even the quickest trip. *Staying one step ahead in case your hungry, tired or board. Any of which will result in checkout line screaming at the library * It's being your teacher, mentor, friend, nap advisor, cook, maid, reading buddy, stroller driver, toy-picker-upper......
"I have a continuing program of research, (what mother doesn't), in the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for my Masters, (the whole darned family), and a Major Credit, (you, baby girl). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities, (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money."
Anyway, there are probably a hundred little things that I forgot to mention, but I wanted to show you and others that being 'Just a Mom' is not an easy thing. We have days that are more hectic then others but we are always on duty.
The best thing about my day though....is you. I get to spend my days (and sometimes my nights) with you sweet baby girl. I get to see your first smile in the morning, and hear your laughter when you play. I get to see a long of your 'firsts' and can video tape them all for everyone to see. Parents who stay home are lucky that way. They get to spend all day with little bundles like you, that are reason for living.
I love you Baby Girl
Always & Forever
Mama
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)