Dear 16 Year Old Me...

Dear Daughter

A while back I uploaded a Facebook Album titled "A Box Full Of Polaroids!" I recently found some more pictures floating around in random boxes and was BLOWN AWAY at several recurring themes.

1. I had really bad fashion sense!

2. My definition of "Hawt Stuff" has c hanged....Dramatically!

3. I'd give ALL my New Kids On The Block collectibles to charity if Proactive had come out in the 80's

4. The same handful of people were there...always there.

5. Those same people and I share some AMAZING memories.

I've heard from others that they "wish they could go back in time and do" this. Or "if only I didn't say that." Sure, there are moments I'd like to relive, but would I want to change the outcome? Maybe. Maybe not.For the most part, I can honestly say no. I wouldn't.. Anything in my past that I have said or done, good or bad, has made me in to the person I am today. If I un-did something, would I still be a wife, a mother, a crafty, book lover, baker and frugalista. Maybe. Maybe not. But I love my life. I'm happy. I'm in love. There are times in ones life to reflect on their past, good and bad and learn from it. I hope you read this over, and decided ahead of time what is or is not a good idea...in case you were thinking of doing the same.
So, in honor of those lost years, here is another rendition of the same title floating around you-tube....

Dear 16 Year Old Me...

Continue writing in your diary. It's a very strong link to your past. You might need it one day.

Put down the Cheetos! You might THINK you have the metabolism of a young boy...but you dont.

Putting BYOB on your birthday party invite is NOT A GOOD IDEA

The Hippie Stage? Really?

STOP rushing, there really is plenty of time.

Let your little sister tag along......sometimes. You grow up and wish you were closer.

Spend more time with family and tell them you love them...everyday.

Appreciate Mom. She does so much for you right now. 

Hold your friendships tight. Whether they come in to your life for a reason or a lifetime. They shape you too.

Buck Up and Do the Airband Dance "Get Down" Don't be nervous, enjoy it!

Join more clubs/teams/committees! You love being involved now, you will then!

Hug Daddy. Walk with him. Talk with him. Tell jokes with him. Savor the time you have with him.

You are NOT going to marry Billy, get over it already! 5th time is not the charm!  :)

If you say something that hurts someone, apologize. Don't wait. You could be too late.

Stay in touch. We all move on with  our own lives, but hold those dear, close to you.

In the same vein, let others move on too. They will still have time for you, and their new life too.

No matter what anyone says, 90210, Buffy and Charmed are AWESOME shows. Cheesy, but cool

Keep your Winnie the Pooh box of memories...Your daughters name is on that future baby list!

Take more pictures. People might tease, but they will love looking at them in the future.

Stay with him at the hospital. Don't leave. 

Your not ugly, or a geek. Someone is going to love you one day. more then you could ever imagine.

Ha! So there are a few things that I'd say to me in the way back if I could. There are more, sure, there are more. But this is a good start. Basically, what I want you to take from this is enjoy the things that make you happy. Don't waste time on the things that don't. And appreciate what you have, because one day, it might not be there.
I love you Baby Girl

Always and Forever
Mama

How I Met Your Father....

Dear Daughter


I know this is a story that you will ask for when your older so I might as well write it down. This is how I met your Daddy. My one true love. Sappy I know but true.


Funny enough, he and I met at a Tim Horton's Coffee Shop. We were strangers, and he asked if he could take me to a county fair.(It's beginning to sound like a country song isn't it? ) Even better, we never made it to the fair.
I was still in high school, and your father was a student at George Brown in Toronto.  I had never really had a serious relationship before him. You know, the ones were it's S + J = 4eva  with hearts and rainbows. I had gone on 'group movie dates' but nothing that gave me butterflies. He did.


In fact, I thought he was totally out of my league. I'm not ashamed to admit I was a book worm in high school and still am. I was involved in clubs and committees. Volunteered for fun after school, and in my spare time enjoyed crafts, puzzles and reading. Introverted to say the least. Your Daddy, well, he was tattoo's, race cars and piercings. Parties, loud music and a bit of a potty mouth. He reminded me soo much of your Poppy, and I knew right away that he was different. 


He picked me up at my house, (where he found me playing badminton on the front lawn with my little sister)  and we drove all the way to Tim Hortons in silence. I didn't even look at him I was so nervous. We spent the entire evening talking, and well into the night. If there is a book out there that says "What NOT to Say on a First Date"  it was based on this night. I told him how 'geeky' I was and that I embraced my inner nerd by collecting Archie Comics. That I was a virgin and saving myself for marriage. (HA) I talked about wanting to be a wife and mother more then anything in the world, and six children seamed a good number. (You would think that would send him running on a first date) I admitted that I was seeing a therapist, because my Father had passed away the year before and I was still having trouble dealing with it. I also talked about my epilepsy, and how it started and basically gave him a first aid lesson on 'what to do if'. All that, and more just spewed out of my mouth like verbal diarrhea and .......he listened. Not just sat there quietly, but actively listened. He nodded his head, asked questions, made comments and showed interest. In ME! 


I was so blown away that this man. This older, OH MY GOSH Good looking man, was interested in me. Little, quiet, shy  me. When he drove me home later that night I did the unthinkable. Something I had never done in my life and was soo outside my comfort zone. I attacked him. Well not really, but as he was saying good night to me I launched myself at him and kissed him. That's it. Nothing too X rated. Just a kiss. But woweyyy what a kiss. I then admittedly pushed him away, took in his look of shock and ran in the house. 


Now all this sounds as if I was 12, a child, and immature...I wasn't, on all accounts I assure you. I was older, wiser and usually people said I was 'an old soul'. But this night, this man....never mind butterflies, I had bats flying around in my tummy. I won the award for supreme dork that night....and I thought I'd never see him agian.


15 LONNNNNNNNNGGG hours later. He called to ask me out again. I knew, really I did, I knew right then, that this guy was mine. Stick a fork in him he is done like dinner...he just didn't know it yet.


Years later, I found out that after our first date he had said this to someone......."I went on a date tonight with this amazingly, quirky, cute girl. (cute?!?!)  But, I don't know if I will ever see her again.....She is not the kind of girl you kinda date and have 'fun' with. She is the type of girl you bring home to Mom. The kind of girl you marry and have kids with. I don't know ......I just met her.....If I call her.....that's it. She's ....The One."  Now all of that is words he has later told me he said, and the conversation might have gone a little differently but this is how he remembers it. I cried when he told me, because not long after he had this conversation he called me again.......And we lived (mostly) happily ever after!


So there it is.....we were pretty much inseparable after that. He asked to meet your Nanny, Uncle and Aunt the following week (who asks to meet parents one week in) and we moved in together less then a year later. I like to think we have something so rare and so special. Who can say that they met there partner, lover and best friend in high school and are still together many, many manymanymany moons later......well, we can.


I love you Sweet Baby Girl
Always  & Forever
Mama


ps. Next time I'll tell you about when he first said the 'L' word. He said it first....don't let him tell you different!

Photo Blog Post Day!!!

Dear.....Readers!

This blog post is for you! I have received a bunch of requests to see more pictures of MJ. Since none of my  journal entries have pictures, I thought I would make an entire post of them so I could share just a few of my favorite moments/shenanigans that we get into.

I hope you enjoy them as much as we do!

xoxo Shannon p.s. It was very very hard to pick just a few...I have a photo-taking-addiction!!!

 Here is MJ just lying around Daddy's Race Shop!
Future Race Car Driver in the making! And Daddy's Biggest Fan!

What a little Diva we have!!!

Happy Halloween!!!

Meeting Santa!

Merry Christmass!!!

Just sitting pretty!

Where did the balloon go Mama???


Swimming Swimming in her swimming pool!!!








So, here are just a few of my favorite photo's. There are probably hundreds...thousands...did I  mention I take a lot of pictures! I will post more soon!


Thanks again for all your kind words. I pass on how much she is loved, everyday!
xoxo
Mama

You Have Teeth!!!

Dear Daughter


As of right now you have 4 teeth! FOUR!!!
I think this is amazing because it means you are growing up so fast.
Your gums started getting a little red and swollen when you were 3 1/2 - 4 months and on Boxing Day you woke up with your First Tooth!!! It had come out over night, and over the next few hours  another joined in. I was so happy that they came in with pretty much no fuss and that you weren't in any discomfort. 


I'm also thankful for the few teething toys we had already. If I haven't mentioned before you are a little bit of a comfort sucker, and breastfeeding you after your teeth starting coming in was like being milked by a rabid kitten. Little scrapes from your teeth make for an uncomfortable feeding time, but we carried on and you figured  out how to do it without making me loose a nipple or two.


Another thing I have thankful for is a present you got from Gramma and Grampa for Christmas. It was  Sophie the Giraffe! Sophie...which in reality is a $30 rubber dog toy but it has definitely saved our lives. In all honesty I probably wouldn't have bought it for you myself, because I'm chea.......frugal like that. But after seeing how you latched on to that thing and chewed it like a t-bone I am certain it is one of the essential items that the 'What to Expect' book missed out on.


I keep trying to take pictures of your teeth to show everyone, but every time I get close enough with the camera you either a) try to eat it or 2) blow a raspberry. When I do get a shot I laugh out loud at how incredibly cute you are. Your such a happy baby and I love just looking at your beautiful-carnival ride operator -drooly face! (not to insult carnival ride operators, but you do look kinda red-necky)


That's all for today Hunnie Bunnie. I just wanted to write so that I can remind you when you have kids, that a little bite between Mama and Baby is ok. Also, I wanted to apologize for probably scaring the piss out of you when I yelp at your antics. Unfortunately, you think this is funny, and some kind of game....'Lets bite Mama, look up and smile angelically while still holding it in my teeth'....Ya.....Fun!!! (insert sarcastic snort here)


I Love You Baby Girl
Always & Forever
Mama


* Please Note: For those who are new to following..... These entries are incredibly behind in posting. I have always be a journal/Diary/Note person and have a lot of letters to MJ in these books. I am still playing catchup online with my letters though. I find this is a great way to share with all the friends and family we can't see everyday. (we live on the west coast while our family is on the east)  MJ was born in July of 2010 and I began writing letters to her while still pregnant. I will continue trying to get caught up for online entires, as I only do them generally when she is sleeping. (But I know you will all forgive me if I spend my 'free' time drinking coffee, napping or reading a good book)
Thank you all so much for your continued support, well wishes and kind words. I hope you keep reading!
Sincerely, Shannon

Just An Ordinary Day...

Dear Daughter


I have this email framed in our house. It was given to me when I was pregnant with you to remind me that I'm not 'Just' A Mom'. That I am a person. A woman. A wife.  That being a parent is hard work, but it is soo worth it. Over the past year I have also read many emails, posts and status updates stating the ups and downs of parenthood. I've also read the questions/complaints from some who are not parents and wish to know 'what we SAHM 'DO ALL DAY'.(eat bon bons and watch our soaps?)


So here goes.....


A Day in the Life of one Mackenzie-Jade Elizabeth....&Mama

• 5:30 am Daddy stumbles, curses and trips his way up in the morning. He has a shower, and then returns to kiss Mama goodbye before he leaves. (and because Mama is such a light sleeper, she is the one who actually turns off the alarm clock and wakes Daddy)

*Side Note: Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

• The minute your Daddy closes the door you wake up for the day with "UH AHH UGGHH AWWWEEEIIII UH UH UH". (in various sounds and decibels) I also hear a news/sports broadcast that the monitor picks up from who knows where.

• I  stumble, curse and trip out of bed because the lamp is on HIS side and it is still dark out. I make my way to your room and look over the edge of the crib....and there you are! My beautiful girl. Just smiling and waving your arms, ready to great the day.

• Baby wrestling/Bum Changing/ Mr Sun Song begins, and is repeated until finished. 

• Change you, I get dressed, START COFFEE, make bed, make breakfast, then feed you  while eating breakfast.  (Wipe crumbs off your head.)

• Play Time! This entails tummy time, reading books, going for walks, staring at the ceiling, reading the same book again, tickle time, 'Don't touch that's, raspberries, funny faces, "Say Mama", and toys that make WAAYYY TOO MUCH NOISE......just to make you smile.

• Daily To-Do's while your gurgling at the probably over priced, plastic toy of the moment......Unloading dishwasher, rinse dirty dishes, reload dishwasher, sweep, mop, towel, rub down, pick up clothes, start laundry, fold laundry and put away. Come running at you for a surprise attack tickle, vaccume .....WHEN DOES IT END!!!

• First Nap = Awwwww Bliss!  This can last anywhere from ten minutes to an hour. Id like to say I use this time productively and either a)nap or 2) start dinner blah blah blah. Nope. I do nothing. Just sit. Sometimes I might read, or be a little craftier with crochet or scrapbooking or journaling. Mostly I just put my feet up and listen to....nothing. its fabbity fab fab fab

• Your Awake! Baby wrestling/Bum Changing/Tickling commences. Repeat as necessary!

• More Milk! More Mushed Food! More Play! 

• Phone calls, take out something for dinner, letter writing, paying bills and Exersaucer Time! (This this is amazing, you love it so much. Baby essentials= exersaucer + swing + bouncer  More Tummy Time, practice standing/walking, peak a boo and other silly shenanigans.

• Time to go out! We usually do one of the following....Go to Library for Babies in the Library (Tuesdays and Thursdays), Drop In at the Community Centre (Mondays, Wednesday and Fridays), Park to (depending on season) roll in grass, snow or watch other screaming kiddies. Play dates, running errands or shop browsing. (being we live in a town of around 6000 our choices are limited)

• Nap Time # 2! Your awesome at going to sleep. I bring  you in, give you 'Moo Cow', give you yoru blankie and smother you in kisses and you just roll over and pass out.

• This is where I make another cup of coffee and usually waste time on either Facebook, my blog or work on crochet orders.  Did I mention that I taught myself how to crochet while I was pregnant. I wanted to make you something special for when you were born. It kind of escalated into a Stay At Home Mama Side Business (Incoming plug....Visit Made With Love Handmade Gifts on Facebook to see our Homemade Goodies!!! http://www.facebook.com/pages/Made-With-Love-Handmade-Gifts/232157200172290 he he he!

•   Awake Again!!!  Baby wrestling/Bum Changing/Tickling commences. Repeat as necessary!

• More Milk! More Mushed Food! More Play! 

• Start Dinner. Play music and sing (badly) and dance around (even more badly) to entertain you.

• Daddies Home Yay! Hugs, Kisses and Cuddles for everyone!!!

• The next hour is usually a bit of  Eating-Catching up on day-movie watching (we don't have cable) Playing with you- More hugs and kisses (for me and you)

• Bath Time!!! This is one of your favorite things to do. You splash, kick laugh always with a smile on your face.

• Now that you smell all babylicious, it's time to be fed, read and in bed. This is one of MY favorite times. Not because you are going to sleep and I get Daddy all to myself (though this is nice) It is because we have our whole routine down. Daddy changes you into  pjs

• Your Daddy and I then get to spend some quality time together cuddled on the couch.

• AND....Between ALLL of this things here I'm.......... * Giving Constant Attention * Answering your coo's and cry's *Having only two arms with one baby, diaper bag, keys, sippy cup, and blankie. Plus other various other  essentials for even the quickest trip. *Staying one step ahead in case your hungry, tired or board. Any of which will result in checkout line screaming at the library * It's being your teacher, mentor, friend, nap advisor, cook, maid, reading buddy, stroller driver, toy-picker-upper......

I'm a "I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations.".....


"I have a continuing program of research, (what mother doesn't), in the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for my Masters, (the whole darned family), and a Major Credit, (you, baby girl). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities, (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money."

Anyway, there are probably a hundred little things that I forgot to mention, but I wanted to show you and others that being 'Just a Mom' is not an easy thing. We have days that are more hectic then others but we are always on duty.

The best thing about my day though....is you. I get to spend my days (and sometimes my nights) with you sweet baby girl. I get to see your first smile in the morning, and hear your laughter when you play. I get to see a long of your 'firsts' and can video tape them all for everyone to see. Parents who stay home are lucky that way. They get to spend all day with little bundles like you, that are reason for living.

I love you Baby Girl

Always & Forever 

Mama

Bucket List

Dear Daughter


I overheard a friend of mine talking to a few others about their "Bucket List" last week. I had never heard of it before, so I asked them. It's their "Before I Kick The Bucket" List! Of Course! I've probably said......." Oh I would LOVE to do __________ before my times up..." But I have never wrote it down. Which is crazy!


I'm a list maker! I journal, love sticky notes, still use snail mail at least once month and had a secret paper with baby names on it from when I was 11 hidden in my jewelry box.


But I still hadn't started a Bucket List. I thought about it an decided that their are just too many things I want to do. So instead, I made my Life List! My Life List isn't just for things I want to do, but who I want to be. Who I want to be for you. Things I want to do together. Things I want to see, hear, taste, touch....


So here it is......Here is my Life List (in no particular order at all...just as they came to me)


-Grow old with your Daddy (sappy I know, but it's true)
-For once...finish all the laundry
-Always try to new things
-Build a house
-Buy a really expensive bottle of champagne to celebrate something
-Sample some escargot...and order it like I do it all the time
-Compete in a marathon
-Cultivate a successful vegetable garden (and by successful...I want things to actually grow!)
-Be generous/volunteer more
-Be really really surprised
-Get a family photo shoot done outdoors
-start new traditions
-Continue old traditions
-Start a 'Family History/Traditions/Memory"Book
-Go on a cruise
-See You, my Sweet Baby Girl graduate/get married/have babies etc
-Learn to two step...(so I look like I know what Im doing)
-See the look on your face when your Daddy wins his next race!
-Make a pie...from scratch...no cheating
-Record a cd of my letters to my baby girl so she will always remember my voice
-Watch you meet Ariel at Disney world for the first time
-Win  on a scratch ticket
-when you reach 48", drop everything and go to an amusement park and ride every ride there
-Have a 'whole family meal' (in-laws, aunts/uncles and GG's)
-Go to Ireland and walk among the ruins
-Feel the trunk of a baby elephant
-Finish all my scrapbooks....that I already have started
-develope each and every picture, and keep them in photo boxes
-Figure out how to make Gramma's Ham Sauce.....or start a bottling company and sell hers on Ebay
-Rock Out to Great Big Sea Live in a small pup in NFLD
-Skype more with family
-Maybe....Possibly...By the Grace of God....Give you a little brother or sister
-Bottle feed a monkey
-Be 75 years old and still walk hand-in-hand with your Daddy
-Be the Best Mom that I can be
-Learn how to make something practical
-Spend a week at Knoxville Nationals and give your Daddy the BEST vacation ever!
-Live in a house, city or province for more then a handful of years
-Learn to make something SOOOO YUMMY that people ask for it at every party
-Tell you I love you everyday. Followed by kisses and hugs


There it is! My Life List!
I know you might not think this list is very exciting, but I don't need to "be a rock superstar, live large, with a big house and 5 cars" and I don't need to go "sky diving, or rocky mountain climbing" and I definitely don't need to "go 2.7 seconds on a Bull named Fu Man Chu"


I guarantee you I will add to this list over time. That there will always be things I want to do, see hear etc. I also know that I probably wont do everything on this list. (That Ham Sauce is my enemy) But you know what Baby Girl, that's ok. I'm ok with that. This list will always be changing. Adding and subtracting. There are only a few things that I need in my life. You are one of them. You and your Daddy, happy and healthy by my side is all I really need. The rest, is just icing on the cake.


I love you Baby Girl
Always & Forever
Mama

If Tomorrow Never Comes...

Dear Daughter


I just finished a journal entry about the "Soundtrack of my Life" the other day, and I was pretty happy with the outcome. I'v even mentally added a few more since then. On my mental list, I have "If Tomorrow Never Comes" by Garth Brooks. I love this song for two reasons. One, I LOVE Garth Brooks. Each of his songs tells a story, and makes you just want to sing along. Secondly, because that song inspired me to write a promise for you. More like a daily affirmation.


A Mother's Prayer


My Sweet Baby Girl is my life.
She is my heart. My soul. My reason for being.


When I look at her, I see the future. I see the possibilities to come. The changes she will make. I see all the things she has yet to learn, and all the things she has. I see determination. And I see love.


When I hold her precious body close to mine, I breath in the scent of promise of her tomorrow, intermingled with the soft sweetness of her today.


So if tomorrow never comes, I hope she knows how much I love her.


If I am feeling tired after a long day; Let me be reminded that 'Yesterday is History. Tomorrow is a Mystery. But Today...Today is a Gift". So sleep later! Now is for hand holding, Eskimo kisses and cuddles. Spend more time reading the same book ten times. Spend more time 'tasting' foods that she gives me. Spend more time walking hand in hand in the early morning.


Because if tomorrow never comes, she  will know how much I care.


If I'm feeling a little stressed. Let me be reminded that at the end of the day; all the matters is that she happy and healthy. The dishes can wait, the laundry will  be there tomorrow, and we can always order take out. Soak up as much 'baby eating', 'toe tickles' and cuddles is Mama's lap as I can.


So that if tomorrow never comes, she will know she's my only one.


Because if tomorrow never comes, I want to know that I didn't waste a minute with her. So cut down on the 'maybe laters', the 'not agains'  and the 'another day, I swears'. Do them now. Today.


Because if my time on earth is through, and she must face the world without me; May the Love I gave her in the past, be enough to last. If Tomorrow never comes.


Because I don't know what tomorrow will bring. I pray we use the absolute most that we can out of today. I hope she smiles and dances. I hope she learns and grows. I hope she goes to bed exhausted because today was such an adventure. And I hope that I never go to sleep with regrets.


So, my Sweet Baby Girl....If I only have today; I want to tuck you in more tightly and watch you fall asleep. I want to have your laugh on video so that I can replay it over and over. I want to say I love you a hundred times. I want to run my fingers through your hair. and I want to give just one more kiss, before I turn out the light. 


I love you Baby Girl
Always & Forever
Mama

Here is the song...just for you

If Tomorrow Never Comes-By Garth Brooks

Sometimes late at night 
I lie awake and watch her sleeping 
She's lost in peaceful dreams 
So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark 

And the thought crosses my mind 
If I never wake up in the morning 
Would she ever doubt the way I feel 
About her in my heart 

If tomorrow never comes 
Will she know how much I loved her 
Did I try in every way 
To show her every day 
That she's my only one 
If my time on earth were through 
And she must face the world without me 
Is the love I gave her in the past 
Gonna be enough to last 
If tomorrow never comes 

'Cause I've lost loved ones in my life 
Who never knew how much I loved them 
Now I live with the regret 
That my true feelings for them never were revealed 

So I made a promise to myself 
To say each day how much she means to me 
And avoid that circumstance 
Where there's no second chance 
To tell her how I feel 

If tomorrow never comes 
Will she know how much I loved her 
Did I try in every way 
To show her every day 
That she's my only one 
If my time on earth were through 
And she must face the world without me 
Is the love I gave her in the past 
Gonna be enough to last 
If tomorrow never comes 

So tell that someone that you love 
Just what you're thinking of 
If tomorrow never comes